YES. THIS IS A PUBLIC POST.
I REALLY DON’T GIVE A SHIT ANY MORE.
AND IT’S NOT LIKE ANYONE COMES HERE TO READ ANY OF THIS EXCEPT ME.
PUBLIC OR PRIVATE, NO ONE READS IT, SO i DON’T SEE THE POINT IN ALTERING THE VISIBILITY.
Another wave hit me last night.
I’m still in shock.
And I can’t believe that anyone can toss aside something so easily.
Especially something so important.
Don’t even want to look back, do ya?
Want to keep walking away so you won’t have to feel anything.
And the fact that you’re trying to make me the “evil” one? the “toxic” one?
So sad… so sad.
I love how you keep telling everyone you know that it’s MY fault. That you decided that you couldn’t deal with MY laziness. That I’M stagnant. That I’M not going anywhere. That I’M the one that’s stuck. That I’M the one that sat around the house doing NOTHING. That I’M the one that doesn’t like myself. That I’M the one to blame. That I’M the one that’s too much to deal with. That I’M the one that will never change.
(Funny, really. I’m in school. I’m going to be done by October. And I’m even helping my parents clean out their house at the same time. And I will be done with our shit in storage when I said I would be. I’m not even going to ask how you’re improving your life because I know exactly what the answers will be. The REAL answers, not the shit you tell everyone else about stuff you’re “planning” or “starting” or that you will be “accomplishing” until the next time you think of something new that will “save” you.)
So glad that you need to make yourself look better to everyone else.
So sad that you don’t realize why everyone was so shocked.
So sad that you don’t understand why I’m still so shocked.
So sad that you think you’re stable and logical right now.
So sad that you don’t want to hear anything I have to say.
So sad that you’re not just throwing away the love of your life…
You’re throwing away the one person that knows you and all of your bullshit.
(And amazingly enough, that person still cares about you.)
Maybe that’s why you’re throwing it away.
You don’t want to really know your own bullshit.
Glad they taught you to be the master of your own denial.
Maybe you should look at yourself some time.
Maybe you’re the “toxic” one….
No, no…not toxic to others, no…
You’re toxic to yourself.
And I’m sorry that you don’t want to change that.
